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I’ll ride with you
December 15, 2014. I read news and comments in social media about Sydney siege and my mind flashed back to a series of events in 2001. September 12, 2011. That morning, like any other days, I took a train to my office where I did my internship in Munich. As I stepped into the train, I felt that all eyes were on me. Many of them held newspapers (Die Bild Zeitung) with one-page sized picture of Osama bin Laden. Some stared at me from the top of my head to the tip of my toe, some with disgust. I was immediately in shock. Hey, just because I wear hijab doesn’t mean I agree with the 911 horrible attack, in fact, I condemned it wholeheartedly. That moment was enough to make my day gloomy while my colleagues tried to console me. Days and weeks after, being stared at intently became normal. One day I even got cursed and spit on.
The most memorable and funniest insult I ever experienced was when my boss and I went to a restaurant to have my farewell lunch in downtown Munich. It was my last day in Munich before I came back to Hamburg. An old lady, in her 60’s half yelled at the waitress asking her to tell me to get out of the restaurant. The fact that the waitress ignored her drove her out of control. She did not give up yelling at the waitress. She said, in German, that she did not deserve sitting in a restaurant next to a Muslim. My boss looked at me in the eye. I forced to smile as if I said it was ok. All other visitors did pay attention to what happened. They couldn’t stand not to look at me or the old woman. For a second I was thinking to just leave the place. But I convinced myself that the waitress would never tell me to go for at least two reasons: 1. It is against the law, 2. I was with my German boss.
Since the waitress refused to say anything to me, the old woman started to talk on the phone in a roaring voice, that time in English. She was having a conversation with someone she claimed to be named Ariel Sharon. She said loudly that how on earth a muslim woman could sit in a restaurant next to her. It was too much for her to bear. That was when it started to get funny and the visitors finally realised that the woman was just another lunatic. They did not care about her and me anymore.
Although I canceled the dessert, I finally stayed there, finishing my meal. It was an experience, which I did not regret. It taught me an important lesson that although there are narrow-minded people, the majority of us are sane. I was obviously hurt but I did not lose my faith in humanity. All other visitors, although did not say anything to defend me, at least did not support that old woman.
My impression about Germany and Germans is very positive. They are in general tolerant and have respect towards other cultures and religions. I assumed that the unfortunate events were just spontaneous reactions by those who happened to be emotional. The sentiments are glitches that I hope will be diminished by now, not sharpened. But I have to admit I had fear. I had fear that someone may dislike me or even attack me for being a Muslim.
Tonight, as I read about I’ll ride with you in Sydney and in other cities in Australia, I moved myself to tears. I am sure it touched many others who have felt the same fear I was feeling 13 years ago. This teaches us that instead of keeping score, you can choose to prevent more innocent victims. So, when I say that I’ll ride with you gives me hope, I am not exaggerating….
Tahfeez ul Qur’an
Today, in our Whats app group consisting of four Indonesian women scholars, we discussed:
Me, ” I really want to memorise Qur’an. I want to learn Arabic for understanding Qur’an. I searched in Brisbane that there are some schools offering such programs.”
Friend SN, “Yeah, me, too… I wish I could, too.”
Friend CD, “I want to do it, too…”
Me, “I don’t know what I have been doing for 36 years. Why I want to do it just now not when I was younger…”
CD, “Because we are so busy going to school… LOL!”
SN, “No. Because we go to school and when we are at school, this kind of desire arises.”
Me, “Alright, let’s start from this group. What if we memorise several verses once a week…”
Silence…
LOL
The day you returned
Today is the day I never thought would come
The day when I write this poem for you
The day when I feel the saddest about you
The day when I finally say the unspoken sorry
It lingered in my mind the way you held my hand
When I watched you lying ill and helpless
You held my hand so strongly and I reciprocated
You were hiding your pain
I wanted to apologise as I touched you
But the words never came out
I could not help my tears from falling
I judged you and I stayed away
But I knew you were a good person
A devout Muslima who was simply obeying His law
In Arofah, the place when I was the closest to Him
I unexpectedly saw your face, the face I had not seen for long
I sent you my prayer and never told you
Only I was sure that you felt it, you felt the same desert breeze that I felt
You were there many times in my dreams
Still I did not have the courage to say it
All the years when you needed me
All the moments when I needed you
Have gone wasted
I was not there when I was supposed to hold your arms
When I was supposed to comfort you
Until the day we last met
When we talked like two lovers longing for each other
I never said it
I never said I was sorry
Now that all your pain has gone away
You’re in the best place exactly as Allah promised you
Allow me to say I’m sorry
I’m sorry, my sister in Islam
Tangerang, 10 November 2014
The day you returned to Allah
Divine music
I used to say
Chopin is a genius
Mesmerized by Chopin’s mazurkas, polonaises, nocturnes and rondos, I always say, all other musics are mediocre
All those baloney pop songs turn into annoyance
Chopin is perfection
But that was before I realised
That the true and divine music is the feeling I feel in my heart every time i hear it
It addicts me
Now I feel like I cannot face the day without listening to the melodious tune of the truth
The Al Qur’an
Friends who will bring me closer to You
I have friends… not many… maybe only those who are there when I need them
Right now I need certain kind of friends…
Where are they?
Throughout the journey in the Holy land, we were together. And then they claimed they wanted to be “friends”.
But I have enough friends in the pursuit of pleasure. I have enough friends who listen, who know myself, who share my thoughts, who support my ideas, who know who I really am.
Right now I need friends who will bring me closer to You…
Embraced by the breeze
Haji itu Arofah. Sabda nabi Muhammad. Akhirnya aku membuktikannya.
Lama kunantikan hari itu datang. Wuquf di Arofah yang jatuh tepat di hari Jumat. Telah terlewati hari-hari penuh gairah ber-thawaf mengelilingi Ka’bah juga ziarah di Raudhah.
Jumat siang itu tak henti-henti dzikir dan doa dilafazkan. Bacaan Quran dilantunkan.
Lalu… sore itu tiba juga.Tak ada lagi jarak antara kita dan Allah. Kami memohon bersimbah air mata di padang pasir Arofah beratapkan langit luas. Katanya, di Arofah, Allah akan turun menemui kita.
Di tengah tangisan mohon ampunan, angin semilir berhembus merasuki seluruh raga dan jiwa.
Lewat angin itu, kurasakan Allah sedang memelukku. Dekapannya begitu erat, tangisku semakin kuat.
Lewat pelukan-Nya, perlahan kudengar Ia berbisik, “Hambaku yang penuh dosa, aku ampuni dirimu…” Dan aku terus menangis…
Arofah, 9 Dzulhijjah 1435 Hijri, 3 October 2014
Just when I shed my tears, the breeze moved pervading my flesh and soul
Through the breeze, I felt that God was embracing me. Her embrace was so tight, and my tears ran down faster
I heard she was whispering slowly, “my dear sinful servant, I forgive you…” and I kept weeping…
Women Liberation according to Islam, is there such thing?
Coming soon
Mingled with the conservatives
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, There is a field, I’ll meet you there (Rumi)
That is wrong, that’s what you say This is right, that’s what you preach No, don’t go that way, you say This is the one and only right way, you try to convince No more debate in this No more opinion, this is the hard fact Nothing’ s better than this piece of truth Do not even attempt to construe In the middle of these ripples I am just a tiny spume, and discrete The pietists and me; we are immiscible Forsaken in the middle of the crowd I challenge, I dispute, I doubt I look for something called the truth But all eyes see peculiarities So strange and do not belong to “us” It is not just another month spent in the holy land It is so fulfilling yet so empty It is so peaceful yet so uneasy It is so reassuring yet so intriguing Do not challenge, you say Lets embrace it wholly, immerse in it Do not question, just believe Submit… I find myself at a crossroads Still hesitant Surrender Or keep asking questions… Tangerang, 31 October 2014, 10.39 pm, 3 weeks after hajj
Blinded
I was just looking for the truth and you blinded me with the light
I was left all alone in a dark and empty tunnel
There you were trying to offer me flashlight
Shining at first yet it became so dull
What have they taught you?
Is it better to be blinded by the light or by the darkness?
Do you prefer to be blinded by science or by faith?
Blinded by the truth or by the lie?
Was it really your light or was it just your smile?
At the crossroads not knowing which turn should be chosen
You were sure that it was the right one
But my heart said otherwise
The left turn was always safer, my mind whispered
I am not afraid of the dark although you left me blinded
I am still searching for the light but it is not your light
For I believe one day the ray will find me in the middle of the darkest hour
It will illuminate with all its shines and I will irradiate back to it
And together we will shine
Equal Parts Tolerance and Extremism in Indonesian Islam
The verse in Quran: “To you your religion, and to me mine” is very clear. In social interactions, you basically mingle with anyone regardless of their religions. You do not criticize or denounce other people’s religion. You put humanity above everything – you do not discriminate people based on their religion. Etc, etc… Growing up in a southern part of mega urban heterogeneous Jakarta, I am used to having friends, colleagues, acquaintances or even family coming from different background, ethnicity and religion. My best friends from high school and college are Christian, I am myself born a Muslim. Any doctrines teaching Muslim to hate other religions are simply not acceptable. I would frown upon people telling me to just make friends with Muslim exclusively. I would argue those people telling me not to say Merry Christmas to Christians.
Yet, this country consists of too many ethnics, religions and school of thoughts. To encounter people with totally different opinions especially regarding interfaith relations is something you cannot avoid. About 12 years ago, I attended a Quran study group gathering where the preacher vilified Christians. Some of the people there laughed. I stood up in disgust and left the place. I am lucky that I am surrounded by a lot of open minded friends, family and colleagues who share the same values of tolerance like me. We condemn the radicalism, FPI, discrimination and torment against Ahamdiyah – together. But lately, I learned a hard fact that the majority of Indonesia’s middle class tend to be more intolerant, rigid and conservative. (More consumptive, more conservative, KOMPAS, June 2012 and The New Face of Indonesian Middle Class, KOMPAS, June, 2012). According to the survey by KOMPAS, majority of Indonesian middle class support the statement: “left-wing organizations or political parties should be banned in Indonesia” and appear to not support the statement: ” all kinds of ideology should be given chance to develop in Indonesia.”. The majority of Indonesian middle class also agree on the banning of Ahmadiyah in Indonesia and they do not think that all people have the right to embrace and practice their own religions.
Recent study suggest that religious freedom in Indonesia, a country with the largest number of Muslim, has been deteriorating. It has blasphemy law that allows detention of people convicted of blasphemy and there have been more frequent and intense discrimination and violence against minority including Ahmadis.
That saddened me. I naively thought that with the same education and upbringing, people would eventually share the same values, values of tolerance. Maybe I just have to live with the two sides of the coin of Islam in Indonesia: Tolerance vs. Extremism.
Equal Parts Tolerance and Extremism in Indonesian Islam
August 09, 2012
From: http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/home/equal-parts-tolerance-and-extremism-in-indonesian-islam/536885
Muslims crowd a street food stall to buy food to break fast in Jakarta on July 24, 2012. During the month of Ramadan, Muslims must refrain from dawn until sunset from eating and drinking. (AFP Photo/Bay Ismoyo)
Add to that an extract from the Koran that says, “To you your religion, and to me mine,” and you have Indonesian Islam in a nutshell.
Abdul Mu’ti of the Central Board of Muhammadiyah — the second largest Islamic civil society organization in the country, embracing 30 million people – told IPS that Indonesian Islam is completely unique to the country, and does not easily find comparisons in the Muslim world.
When the holy Ramadan fast began on July 21, it arrived almost unnoticed in the country. Loudspeakers that usually blast prayers starting at dawn have been turned down as a courtesy to believers of other faiths, there are no ostentatious displays of piety and eating in the streets is not prohibited, as it is in most other Islamic countries.
In a nation of 240 million people where 90 percent are Muslims and most observe the fast, many customers are still seen sipping cafe lattes at Starbucks outlets in Jakarta’s glitzy malls or bustling around food courts at lunchtime.
This is a completely different scene than in ultra-conservative Saudi Arabia, where officials have warned non-Muslim expatriates that eating, drinking or smoking in public during the holy month risks deportation.
The Indonesian government has, however, imposed some restrictions in an effort to ensure that Muslims comply with the principle of sexual abstention during Ramadan by blocking one million Internet porn sites.
“We’ll intensify [efforts to] block porn websites,” Communications and Information Minister Tifatul Sembiring told local media.
Still, “Indonesia has a maritime culture which is more democratic, open and very different from the Arab culture of the desert,” Nasaruddin Umar, the deputy minister of religious affairs, told IPS.
“[I believe] Indonesia has the right to interpret the Koran according to its own culture,” said Umar, who based his doctoral thesis on a study of gender equality in the holy books and firmly believes the Koran prescribes parity between men and women.
“The Arab cultural interpretation of the Koran has been very dominant. But, according to the Koran there is no need to use chador [a robe that covers women from head to toe] or jilbab [a headscarf many women wear in Indonesia],” he told IPS.
Indonesia’s public space has a distinct flavor that sets it apart from most other Muslim countries: Indonesian girls in miniskirts walk together with others wearing headscarves, men and women hold hands in public and concerts and television programs often feature women in headscarves dancing in a very suggestive manner.
Contradictions abound
However, there are limitations to religious acceptance. On official identity cards, Indonesians are forced to choose between only six accepted religions in the country.
Also, atheism is illegal according to the country’s constitution, and just last June an Indonesian man was sentenced to two and a half years in jail for propagating his atheism on the Internet.
Blasphemy, also considered a felony, earned a Shiite cleric a two-year prison term in July for causing “public anxiety” because his teachings deviated from the mainstream Sunni Islam practiced in Indonesia.
His arrest came amid anti-Shiite attacks that rights groups say were led by Sunni Muslims.
Members of the minority Ahmadiyah sect who, contrary to mainstream Muslims, do not regard Muhammad as the last prophet, are often attacked. The most recent incident took place last month when a mob attacked the homes of six members of the Ahmadiyah community while a group of journalists was attempting to shoot a documentary about them. Four people were injured in the brawl.
Some Christian churches have been forced to close under pressure and last May a group of radical Muslims in West Java prevented a Christian congregation from holding a service by hurling sewage and frogs at them, according to a parishioner quoted by a local newspaper.
“On paper, Indonesia respects and protects the religious and ethnic diversity of its citizens. But this beautiful ‘social contract’ between the state and its people unfortunately means almost nothing on the ground,” said Bona Sigalingging, spokesman for the GKI Yasmin Church.
“It is a manufactured image being sold to the international community,” he added.
Umar insists the government is working very hard to prevent similar incidents of communal and religious strife.
“The Ministry of Religious Affairs has deployed a special task force to contain radicalism,” said Umar, author of a book on the radicalization of Koranic interpretation.
He says radical Islam, which peaked with the 2002 bombings on the resort island of Bali that killed 202 people, mostly Western tourists, has largely been brought under control following a police crackdown on perpetrators and a process of re-educating extremists.
“The Government has 60,000 penyuluh, or religious advisers, distributed all over the country and their function is to [educate] on the moderate aspects of Islam. They use my books and programs,” Umar noted.
And though Indonesia has introduced 79 Islamic laws since the beginning of its democratic process in 1999, many of them have never been enforced, Mu’ti told IPS.
“Shariah or Islamic laws are a product of political propaganda by local leaders who do not represent the aspirations of all Muslims [here]. So, many laws passed by local administrations are not fully implemented,” he stressed.
Only in the autonomous province of Aceh, which is believed to be the place where Islam was first established in Southeast Asia, is there mandatory implementation of Islamic laws such as caning for imbibers or flogging for adulterers.
But few officials want to see this practice repeated throughout the country.
“I disagree with attempts to establish a Muslim state in Indonesia because it will exclude other religions,” said Mu’ti, hinting at the fact that Christmas, the Chinese New Year and a host of other religious holidays are today celebrated throughout the country, particularly in the larger cities.
Despite optimism, tensions in some regions continue to boil over. This patterns of intolerance, if allowed to continue, could risk souring Indonesia’s unique blend of Islam.
A week after the start of Ramadan, a bar in South Jakarta was ransacked by a mob of more than 100 people for serving alcoholic drinks, local media reported.
The local news website kompas.com quoted the mob’s alleged leader, Habib Bahar, 33, as saying: “It is usual for me and my followers to raid sinful places during Ramadan.”
marthamamabella 